Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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