would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
