Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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