shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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