oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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