Non-Jews are for practice
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
