maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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