my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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