i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
