that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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