I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
