id be glad to
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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