So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
