God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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