We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
