Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
