he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
