are you still at the devil's house?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
