question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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