I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
