Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
