hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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