You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
