Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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