i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
