I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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