Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Shame - the story of my life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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