he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
