I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
