he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
