Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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