i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
