I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
