new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bring me that man meat
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
