after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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