You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
