Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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