He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
