This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
