And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
