Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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