So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
