Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
