Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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