Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
