there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
