Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
