I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
