hotel room ftw
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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