This house was built for laser tag.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
